Volunteering

When Covid-19 hit the UK and hit it hard, the government was SLOW to shut things down.  I also think the government is too quick to open things back up.  This is backed up by the return to shut-down in certain areas.

I have been saved by doing volunteer work.  I wrote about it here.

Four months on and I am still heading out a few times a week.  I used to be that I was heading out 5 out of 7 nights to collect food.  The frequency has decreased to 3 or 4 nights a week. 

I get a notification like this via WhatsApp from the charity coordinator and I head out to collect the food.

When I get food from the supermarkets, sometimes there is a treat.  One night there was loads of whole milk.    When I collected it there was plenty for my Syrian families and plenty for the village. 

As you can see there was a lot of milk.  I kept it in my little fridge over night and set it out in the  morning.  I was *slightly* worried that there would be some left, but our village met this challenge!  It was all gone by 5pm. 

Our village and the village next to us are so excellent about helping to prevent food waste.

This week marked the end of me having my mileage costs covered by the village council. As Scotland is moving into phase 3 of the release of lock down, funding for this is drying up.  I don't think for a minute that the community is less grateful.  I am going to continue to collect and distribute food while there is still a need. 

The man of the place and I had a discussion about the cost of collecting the food and distributing it.  I would really miss doing this for my community.

I get little thank you gifts from time to time.  So far I have received some delicious broccoli and Stilton soup and some coriander plants for the garden. 

On Friday I got flowers and a lovely card from one of the families.   This was so sweet!

When the food is put out, sometimes I find there are special items in the form of entire decorated cakes in the boxes.  I set delux items like this to one side for families with small children at home.  It is hard to try to keep children entertained and fed during lock-down.  Treats start to become a thing of the past.  I love seeing the smiles and hear the squeals of delight.  It's like Christmas for me.

Cucumbers are Already Here!

male flowers have been removed

This is something I didn't know until a few years ago.  Cucumber plants have two sorts of flowers on the vine.  Male flowers and female flowers.

Removing the male flowers before they open and start pollinating everything is important.  If cucumbers get pollinated, they become bitter and unpleasant to eat.

baby cucumbers

It is easy to spot which flowers are male flowers early on.  They don't have a small cucumber behind the flower. 

I did a bit of cleaning out in the polytunnel today.  When the door was opened it was like going into a sauna.  LOTS of hot and very humid air in there!

When I cleared away some of the super slug infested lettuce, I found these little beauties! 

The first cucumbers!   I predict there is some pickle making in my future!

This is a jar I made last year.  They're still tasty!

Age is Taking Too Much

My mother lost her hearing gradually.  When I was a child, she didn't have hearing aids. As the years marched on, hearing aids became a part of her life. Part of her routine was searching the junk drawer in kitchen or the bottom of her handbag for fresh batteries.

When I was in middle school, we got a volume control on the phone receiver. With this device she was able to use the phone for a few more years.


My siblings and I learned to speak slowly and enunciate syllables clearly. No mumbling!  We knew that if she wasn't facing us, she couldn't hear what we were saying. There was no point in speaking to her if her back was turned or she was looking away.

We also knew when she didn't hear what we were saying. She would have a repertoire of replies and sounds that fooled a speaker into thinking that my mother had heard everything they said and she was in agreement. It made ordinary social interactions just a bit smoother for her. Most people would think that she had been participating. Her children knew the tricks and could spot when she wasn't understanding. Sometimes we would step in and re-explain the conversation to my mother if we saw that the speaker was expecting a more complete answer. It would give the game away so we had to be judicious where we stepped in.

We knew that we had to make darned sure she knew what she was agreeing to in conversations with us. We could never be seen to use her deafness to our advantage. "You said I could go! I asked you and you said yes!" Taking advantage of your mother's disability would have shown a shocking lack of integrity. We just didn't do it.

By the time the 80s rolled around the volume control wasn't enough. I think the last time my mother used a normal telephone was 1981. When I joined the Navy in 1981 she couldn't really use it very well when I called home.


We had a few years with a TTY machine. This was pre-internet and before mobile or cellular phones but I was thrilled with another and simpler way to communicate. It was like using a walkie talkie. There were loads of little short cuts. I don't remember them all. I do remember that when you had finished your sentence, you typed GA for "go ahead". This way you weren't both trying to type at the same time. I had a machine here in Scotland and my mother had one in Washington, D.C. where she lives. Long distance phone calls were still hideously expensive but if we needed to speak to each other, we could still communicate.  With the onset of the internet, chat rooms, and e-mail the TTY machine gathered dust in a cupboard in my room.

The world and technology has moved at a rapid pace. For years we have been able text and email each other. We have chats on line and the cost of international phone calls now costs me nothing extra.

We still don't have the half hour calls that some people have with their mothers. Maybe it was because of her deafness that we never had long conversations on the phone. We never developed a regular phone thing early on. When things started to become a problem, I didn't pick up on them. How could I? I live in another country.

Facebook came on the scene and eventually my mom created a profile. She learned early on how to swim around in the social media pool. A few years ago and  I don't know how but her profile became the target of those people who copy a profile and start to harvest the friends list for their nefarious purposes. We got that profile removed.  It made me careful with every friend request I get from somebody with whom I am already friends.

Despite the copycat profile being removed, I have five separate profiles on Facebook for my mother. They are all genuinely from her.  In the last few years she would forget all her log-in information. It must have been just easier to start a new profile rather than go through the headache of fishing around for the right login information. These profiles show clearly the beginning of a decline of something other than her hearing. She stopped writing in her blog too. Technology was becoming increasingly too complex for her.  

She started to have dizzy spells.  This was diagnosed as a natural reaction to dehydration.  She wasn't drinking enough liquids. It became obvious that she was losing weight as well.  When people develop dementia, the feelings of thirst and hunger don't translate into action.  

We started to have conversations about her going to assisted living accommodation.  These suggestions were always shot down in flames.  My mother has always prized her independence and wasn't going to give that up.

When Covid-19 hit the states, her day centre shut.  On the final day it was open, they sent all their people home with food parcels.   My mother with her natural generosity gave it all away to her neighbours.  We weren't overly pleased with her generosity.  She didn't save anything by for herself.  It was clear that she couldn't plan past what she wanted to do then and there.  The thought of making sure she had food in three days time wasn't on the radar.

It was really hard work to convince my mother that staying in her apartment was essential.  She would walk out to get a coffee, check her bank balance or get a newspaper.  

"I survived polio, I can survive this." 

Meanwhile we are all trying to convince her to stay put.  I could only do that by sending her really grumpy texts or scold her via Facetime.  It would work for a day, sometimes two days and then she was out again. 

It got worrying when she started getting lost.  She would call her friend and tell her that she didn't know where she was.   By identifying the restaurants she was near, her friend could figure out where she was, collect her and bring her home.  She seemed to be chastened by this episode . . .for a day. 

A few days later she was at the Metro station, got confused and the police brought her home.   Then it happened again. . . I'm not sure about the time line for when these things happened but the police brought her home a couple of times. 

Then there seemed to be an event. My mother had another dizzy spell, and was sick.  Things weren't right. My mother's regular doctor was called.  The doctor made arrangements for my mother to be evaluated at the hospital. It was at this point my sister drove down from New Jersey to Washington and supervised getting my mother to the hospital.

Initially we were happy that Mom wasn't in a care home or in assisted living when Covid-19 hit the USA. Those places seem to be hotbeds of Covid-19 infection.  They certainly are in the UK.  Now we wished she was in one so that she was safe.

Old age doesn't come alone.  There seems to be some evil roulette table we are all lined up to play.  As you age more dark spaces are added.  If the wheel lands on a dark space you'll lose something.  Sometimes it's just a tooth or you will suddenly and inexplicably have higher blood pressure.  Other times you develop bunions and not only can you not run, you have difficulty walking.  Your skin will wrinkle, your hair will get grey or go altogether. The more sinister spaces on the roulette wheel of ageing are brutal: cancer, stroke,  heart attack and dementia.  The come along with a loss of dignity that's hard to witness. For a woman whose ability to be sharp, educated and quick thinking has kept the wolf from the door for herself and her children, the loss of her mental ability is particularly cruel. 

This week my mother was moved to a care home for rehabilitation.  She is deaf, confused and in a place where she's never been before.  I take comfort that she is safe, she is being offered regular meals and she is taking her medicine regularly. 

During this global pandemic, I find myself repeating the first part of the Serenity Prayer that the AA use all the time.  

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

I am not religious but this prayer reminds me to let go of things for which I have no control.  I can't control other people's actions just like I can't control the weather.  Worrying about it is a complete waste of energy. 

Windy Today

We had a scorcher yesterday.  It was lovely, still and hot for most of the first half of the day.  Today is howling with wind.  The baskets are unhooked and down again.

The front beech hedge was clipped back so that we can have better access to the herbaceous border along the western edge of the garden.  We clipped back everything by hand.

This is what the hedge looked like as I started.

This is what it looked like at the end of the afternoon.  Over ten wheelbarrow loads were hauled away.

It is not cool to cut a  hedge during nesting season.  We used hand tools only and went very slowly.  We stopped when we were  two thirds of the way done because there may be nests.

This shows where work stopped.  I heard lots of cheeping so we didn't go any further.  It may be  months before we finish.  I'm okay with that.

We can't get all the way to the top safely.  I'm not worried about that either.  When the tractor comes along in August, the top will get cut back.  I also didn't cut back the hawthorn that has seeded itself in this hedge.  It's in bloom.  The bees need those flowers.  It looks a bit insane but there you have it.

Work stopped when slurry was spread on the field next to the house.  It was supremely smelly, drove everybody indoors and I shut the windows.  A few hours later it wasn't quite so pungent. When it was first put down, it was fierce!  I really don't mind much.  I'd rather have slurry stink than car exhaust.

We went outside toward the end of the day when the smell had lightened up a bit.  There were clouds building in the north so I started picking up tools and raking up dropped leaves.  When the rain started, I was in again.

This is this weeks star visitor to the garden.

A little juvenile weasel.  I saw it running around in the wall near the bird feeders.  I guess this means that all the voles that used to live there are gone now.  The appearance of the weasel also explains why the pheasant chicks aren't around anymore.

I saw a little weasel again later on and it looked like a different animal.  The first one had a shorter tail. When the weasel ran away, it ran to a pile of stones that lives under the big pine tree.   It is in this pile of stones that I saw a weasel years ago.  It is my hope that this pile of stones is a permanent home for a family of weasels.

Nets on the Fruit Cage

The poles to the fruit cage were put up a few days ago.   We promptly had a couple days of high wind so I just left the project until we had more favourable weather.

Yesterday I dragged the nets out of the greenhouse and unrolled them on the grass.  I looped the meters of net over my arms like an enormous bridal veil and draped them over the wobbly poles.

Birds thwarted for another season

The nets go on when the fruit looks like it may start to be inviting to all the local birds around here.

blackcurrants starting to plump up

I like having song birds dart around the soft fruit bushes the rest of the year.  They clear everything of insects that may be harmful to the crop.

gooseberries are now protected

The gooseberries were looking the plumpest of all the fruit over there.  They are a favourite of The Man of the Place so the berries need to be protected. 

Now that the net is over things, the trick is to not let the birds sneak in any gaps. I believe that I have pegged down the net in all the places where tiny songbirds can sneak in. . . but only time will tell.  If a bird gets in under the net, it is difficult for them to find a way back out.  They could die if somebody doesn't check the fruit cage regularly and release any trapped birds.  This is yet another reason we need to stay at home! 

Baskets up - Baskets down

Earlier this week we were enjoying a lovely stretch of fine warm days.  We got loads more done outside in the garden.   

The bold step to hang the hanging baskets out was taken.

Baskets at the kitchen door

It gave so much more room in the poly-tunnel and greenhouse.  No more bumping my head! 

On the "courtyard" side of the house we have three doors.  I put a hanging basket on either side of each door.  That makes a grand total of six hanging baskets.  They really brighten up the place.  It is a daily activity to water them completely (until water is running out the bottom).  The spent blossoms also get pinched off.  Deadheading keeps the plants blooming for longer.  If they don't make seed, they will keep producing flowers.

There are two big enemies of hanging baskets, not watering them enough and wind. In the last couple of years we have not only lost a hanging basket to the wind, we lost an entire bracket that was bolted to the wall! 

Baskets unhooked because of wind

When the forecast was for wind today one of the last jobs I did last night was to unhook all the hanging baskets from their brackets and place them on the ground.

I am glad I haven't planted out the beans and pumpkins yet.  This wind would shred them.  It's really rattling the windows.

comfrey jungle near the chicken run

There is a lot of comfrey growing here.   The bees love it!  On a warm, still day I could be mistaken for a beekeeper.  There are hundreds of happy little buzzers.

We didn't plant the first comfrey plant for the bees. The bees were a delightful added bonus.  The comfrey was planted so we could make fertiliser for our vegetable plants.

We cut down loads of comfrey leaves and fill a bucket.  Nettles may or may not be added to the mix and then top it up with water.  The whole lot is left to putrefy for a few weeks.  There is a lot of protein in the comfrey plant so when the leaves rot down it really stinks! 

rotting comfrey leaves

When diluted this mess is a brilliant high potash feed.  Great for tomatoes and flowers.    It costs nothing, is completely organic and boosts the fertility of the garden enormously.

This bee was in the kitchen this morning.  He isn't supposed to be in there.  I gave him a little feed and then sent him on his merry way.

Bad Compost!

At the beginning of the lock-down The Man of the Place was still going in to work.  This drove me insane as 98% of his work is administrative. There was no sensible reason for him to go into an office full of people who had to travel out to visit other people.

Anxiety levels were quite high for me.  I was worried that he was putting himself (and me) at risk of infection.   To placate me, he went to one of the few shops that was still open at the time, a local shop that sells hardware, and gardening things amongst other stuff.  He picked up two bags of compost for me as I was getting near the end of the bag that I had in the greenhouse.

A few days after some strongly worded complaints, he is working from home now.

The new compost that he brought in was a bit rough.  Lots of very woody twigs and bark.  It had not been sifted.  It was practically mulch!  As we are in the middle of a global pandemic I won't complain. I used it.  From time to time I tossed the big wood chunks out of the greenhouse door.

I thought perhaps the poor germination rate I've had this year was due to old seed.  Maybe it wasn't that.

Although there were more failures than normal, some things did germinate.  I was diligent about pricking them out into larger pots as soon as they were big enough.

Some seedlings went into the old compost and some went into the budget compost.

Things were okay until I noticed that some seedlings were not thriving.

Some were not only  not thriving but actually dying!

dying tomato seedling

Today I re-potted a lot of those sickly seedlings.

Look at these two cucumber plants.  Both germinated at the same time.  One lucky seedling went into ordinary compost and the other went into the "budget" compost.

cucumber seedling in the good compost

unlucky seedling in bad compost

These two cucumber plants were from the same packet.  Both were potted into pots at the same time.  The only difference was that one was put in budget compost and the other was put in ordinary compost.

All tomato plants were sown on the same day.

What I am saying that buying budget compost is no savings!  Look at the dramatic difference!

I got another bag of ordinary compost as I was getting to the end of the barky, twiggy compost.    Nice stuff is being used to re-pot the poor plants that are not thriving.   I am now at the end of that bag.  Now it is known that I need at least four big bags of compost to get me through the spring planting season.

I had to re-pot everything that was placed in the bad compost.  So really as I have to remove and replace a lot of that budget compost there was no savings to be made at all!  False economy!

I've got a big 50 litre bag of good compost coming today or tomorrow.  I am so thrilled that one of our local garden centres are making deliveries of garden things for orders over 35 pounds.  My house is just on the very edge of their delivery range so I made my order big.  I am grateful to be able to have enough cash to make a decent order and take advantage of the delivery system.

In the meantime, I have been rotting some comfrey leaves in buckets.  The leaves will stay in those buckets until they have made a purtrifed and stinky mess.  That putrified liquid will be diluted and used as tomato fertiliser.  It stinks to high heaven.  I believe that this is the nature of fertiliser.  It stinks.  I love using things I already have here at the place. Comfrey and a few stinging nettle leaves make excellent fertiliser. It costs NOTHING.

Scary symptoms!

I had a bit of personal drama yesterday. . .inside my own head.

I started to develop a headache.  Headaches for me can trigger a migraine so I always hit the paracetamol as soon as my head is slightly sore.   The pills seemed to do the trick until about four hours later the ache in my head came back.  Terrific.  Here we go.  I took two more tablets.  

I was reading and the pain came back at about two in the morning.  This time it was accompanied by feeling sick to my stomach.  Was I feverish as well or just cold?  

With the corona virus floating around, it is a scary time for migraine sufferers. 

It turns out that I had a whopping migraine.  I managed to prevent the worst of it but I still felt like rubbish.  My worst paranoid nightmares were flitting through my head.  What if I am infected?  What does that mean for all the people I just distributed food to?  Are my affairs in order if this is going to be it?

Perhaps it is the tap on the shoulder that I need to be MUCH more careful about how I go about volunteer work during this global pandemic.  Should I stop with the volunteer work?   I am pretty cautious about staying away from other humans, washing my hands, and not touching my face.    I wear a boiler suit that comes off when I get home.   The boiler suit goes straight in the wash.

Weeds!

There is a curse that nobody tells you about when you find yourself in possession of a house with really great topsoil.   Everything grows spectacularly well . . . even the weeds.

You can fool yourself into thinking that you will be on top of the weeds at this time of year.  The weeds are marginally easier to get out of the ground and growth really hasn't kicked into high gear yet.   I can get bits cleared of weeds and lie to myself about how the rest of the year will be.  I can imagine that with almost no further effort on my part, the vegetable beds and flower borders around my place will be a pristine and weed free oasis.

Any plant or flower can be a weed.  By definition a weed is a plant growing where you (the gardener) don't want it to grow.   Grass is encouraged  to grow but only in the area designated as "lawn".  If grass is in the driveway, it is an unsightly weed.

wild strawberries in the gravel

Strawberries are encouraged to grow in the strawberry bed.  Wild strawberries showed up in our gravel a few years ago.  I was so delighted that I left them there.   They are taking advantage and spread too much. The older wild strawberry plants have died and the novelty has worn off.  It is time for the wild strawberries to go.  I want my gravel back.

yellow nettle root

Stinging nettles are easy to manage now but wear gloves.   They are young but still sting. If you're careful you can get a lot of them out of your herbaceous border.  The roots of  the stinging nettle are a marvellous turmeric yellow.  If you are digging around in the border and see bright yellow roots they probably lead to wrinkly, fuzzy and stinging leaves.  Get it out of there!  These plants grow like bamboo when the weather warms up.

One of the worst weeds in the vegetable garden is bind weed.  I hate it!  Really the only way I have found to eradicate it in the past was using glyphosate.  As I am trying to have an organic garden, the use of that stuff is not okay and is linked to cancer.  I have been digging bind weed up.  The only way to get rid of it is to keep digging.  I have been going into the poly tunnel every day and removing emerging shoots.  I know what the shoots look like and I pounce on them immediately.
It is so pleasurable when you get an enormous root up and it hasn't broken.  This particular weed is insidious as every millimetre of  root left in the soil is a new plant! 

See!  there is a solitary inch of root that was left in the soil and it started growing a new leaf and a new root system!  If you have bind weed, you will never get it all in the first weeding session.  You have to wait a few weeks and go back and get the next batch when  the new leaves have started popping up.  It may take a year of constant vigilance to get your patch free of bind weed.

bind weed regrowing from a bit of root

This stuff doesn't sting and the roots aren't as horrid as bind weed BUT the roots do make a real dense matt under the soil.

mystery weed

I don't know what it is yet.  I will have to do some investigating.  We have plenty of it and I wish we didn't.   Thankfully it is easy to get up.

There is nothing more pleasurable when digging up a weed with a long tap root and getting the entire thing.  Weeds with taproots will regrow.  Not right away but they will come back eventually.

Comfrey is particularly tough to get rid of once the root has established.  We planted one crown of it years ago.  The bees LOVE comfrey flower and the area behind the chicken run is all but given over to comfrey.  The air is always filled with the happy buzz of hundreds of bees over there. The leaves of the comfrey plant can be harvested and rotted down with water in a big bucket and used as a brilliant organic fertiliser.

Comfrey by the chicken run

I like comfrey but if a clump shows up somewhere else, it is officially a weed and I have to dig to get rid of it!  This clump is in the stone wall in front of the house.  I tried to get it out two years ago.  I failed.  Not only did I not get it all out, I didn't do anything about it last year.  So now I have to try to get this stuff out of the wall without having to tear the wall apart, remove the weed and then rebuild the wall.

Fruit Cage preparation

A few years ago new soft fruit bushes were planted. We organised a place on the east side of the house where we keep things like ladders, bird seed bins and where the compost pile used to be.

It's a decent sized area.  We have black currants, gooseberries and blueberries.  The rhubarb crown is there too but it doesn't need any protection.  It can handle anything.

This year should see everything come into high production!  In anticipation of this, I am laying the groundwork now.

I cover the fruit with a makeshift cage made out of garden canes and net.   It works just fine.   It keeps the birds away from the berries but it does nothing to prevent weeds popping up.

Last year we had a pretty good crop but every time we went to pick berries we were either eaten up by midges or stung by the nettles.  I don't really mind a nettle sting.  It's unpleasant but . . you know. . .ouch! 

The ground was scraped of all weeds earlier and this morning, I dragged out the leftover pieces of ground cover and laid them down.  I weighted the ground cover down with rocks.   I am pleased that this is another job done. 

I will put the nets up in a few weeks.  The bushes aren't in bloom yet so we need the birds to continue to eat any bugs that may be there now.

MICE!

So the mice ate all the radish seedling the day after they popped up. 

I have not replanted them yet, but I will.  I am going to wait until there are other things available for the mice to eat before I do that.

The trick to getting rid of mice is to 1. Remove food. 2. Stop them from coming in.   3.  Put down mouse traps.    If I can't stop the mice from coming in the greenhouse, there is no point in moving on to step 3, mouse traps.

We have mice in the house too!  Yesterday was a sunny and warm day.  I saw THREE in the house. 
They were all little mice and in very different parts of the house.  The mice I saw were very little, juvenile mice.  The sort that are just big enough to leave home for the first time. 

One mouse tried to shelter under the dog.  That didn't work out so well.  The dog didn't care or move but the mouse realised that he was trying to hide in the fur of another animal.  That particular little mousey was caught in the corner of the room with a plastic cup and a bit of stiff cardboard.    I took it outside.  It will either die out there or find it's way back in.

Today I bought three new mousetraps when I went into town.  I have baited them and placed them strategically around the house. 

We normally only have mice problems in the autumn when the weather cools down. Mice want to come in where it's warm. I don't remember having a spring mouse problem before.

Things are Sprouting

Spring is marching forward at its usual pace.

I find that the fact that I am out of my nightgown by 10 am a triumph! I was up much earler and was out in my robe and slippers to check on things. 

The rhubarb is spectacular this year. It has a great big bud on it.  I don't ever remember a rhubarb blooming.  I'm sure they do. . . but this is new and must be investigated.

The peonies that I love so dearly are doing even better this year.  I am hoping that they grow from strength to strength.

I adore peonies they remind me of happy times in the Midwest.    Yes, I will be going out to weed (carefully) these flower beds.

The soft fruit section of the garden is tucked away on the east side of the house.  The soil around the base of each fruit bush has been scraped.  I swear this year I am going to put the ground cover down before the weeds can pop back up!

One of the best homemade ice cream flavours EVER is blackcurrant.  I adore it so much that I planted loads of blackcurrant bushes.   They are now about four years old.  This means that at the end of the season, I will be removing one third of the large branches.  Every year going forward I will be removing another third.

Just What I Needed

The Covid-19 virus or Corona virus has been all we hear about.  It is affecting the entire planet.  Who knows what is going to happen when it is all over. The centre of infection had moved from the source in China to Italy and Spain only to shift gears and get bigger in the US.

The numbers are terrifying and as there seem to be an unwillingness to shut things down properly. This is going to cause a delay in the pandemic ending. 

The other day I had a text quarrel with my mother. Dementia is slowly taking hold of her once sharp brain. She forgets things.  She has always been stubborn so I can't lay that particular trait at the feet of dementia.  Since the shut down, things have decided to take a nice step forward. She passes all the questions that are put to someone who is suspected of having dementia, "Who is the president?" "What is the current month?"  and she is deemed to be just fine.  It is the decision making process that is flawed. There doesn't seem to be any thought beyond what she wants at that moment.

Her senior centre has closed.  When they closed they sent people home with food parcels.  My mother promptly gave all the food to her neighbours.  She has always been generous but now her generosity is becoming a problem.  She gives her money and food away to anybody who asks and leaves nothing for herself.

I found she had gone out for a newspaper and sent her very firm messages to return home and stay there.  "I survived polio, I can survive this!" That time she went home and agreed to stay in. . . . until the following day when she decided to go visit her friend.  This prompted another round of fierce texts.  Thank heaven she can still operate a smart phone!

After she showed up at home again, I just burst into tears of frustration.  When I started to cry, I decided that I would pick at everything that worries me and have a good howl.  I miss my children.  I miss my grandchildren.  I miss my friends.  I worry about the collapse of society and famine.  Oh when I decide to feel sorry for myself, I don't mess around.

That very evening I got a call from a friend of mine who runs a charity, Dumfries & Galloway Multicultural Association.  They run a lot of support for refugees in the county among other things. Could I pick up some food donations?  Of course!

I was thrilled!  The BEST thing for snapping out of a round of self-pity is to do something for somebody else!  This was just the tonic I needed!

The local supermarket normally donates unsold food to the school.  Schools are closed and they were scrabbling around to find someone to collect the food and save it from being thrown out.

I was at the door of the supermarket just before closing.

It is shocking to see a place I visit frequently go through dramatic changes.
I put on my boiler suit and wore rubber gloves for this trip.  I am trying to minimise infecting myself.  If I am infected and not showing symptoms, I don't want to be the one infecting others.

The lovely lovely staff at the supermarket had boxes of food that was still perfectly fit for human consumption but had past its sell-by date.  They could not legally sell it.

They hated the thought of throwing it all away and were happy that somebody could make use of it.

Now then. . . what to do with all this food?!  I couldn't drive to Dumfries with it.  There really isn't a network set up in my little tiny village for this sort of thing.
The next morning I put a notice in the village hall Facebook page announcing that there was free food available!  All anybody had to do was pick it up from the village hall.  I asked people to only touch what they wanted to take, bring their own bag and be respectful of distances. 

I left the boxes of food and hoped the local village people would not be shy.  I was so glad it didn't rain!

At the end of the day, just when it was starting to get dark, I went to collect what was left and the empty boxes.

To my joy I was met with this sight!  I was SO happy that my lovely little village was able to make use of this food!    It helped snap me out of a big self-pity party.  I am reminded that doing things for others has always helped.  I also helped to end food waste! 

Anxiety Gardening

Every day the death toll grows.  Spain and Italy still have shocking numbers of people dying.  We in the UK are only a few weeks behind them and are bracing for the worst.  The numbers in the US look to be the worst of all.  Someone in the village has it.  Thankfully this person is recovering. 

The Man of the Place has to go to work.  It is an essential job.  He could probably do it from home but the local government's infrastructure can't handle the bandwidth.   He tries, his connections get too glitchy and then he has to pack up and go back into the office.

I am left fuming.  Later on I realise that my anger is based on fear.  Fear that he'll get Covid-19 and bring it home to me.  I will blame the local government for not protecting him better, for not having better bandwidth so he could have actually worked at home and blame him for not being more careful about what he touches and washing his hands.

With anxiety the best thing for me to do is . . . anything!  If I stay busy then my little brain doesn't stew on things.  I can save the worries for later when I'm trying to sleep.

Today after he left for Mordor, I got dressed, ate muesli and went outside to do stuff.

The poly tunnel cleaning was finished today.   I washed all that green off.  The job would have been a bit more pleasant in the warm sunshine but we didn't have that.  We had okay weather, very little wind and not too cold.

I dragged the garden hose over and started spraying.  I scrubbed with a soft broom and the algae came right off.

I was going to say that there wasn't much to wash, but there was over half left to do.   The entire north side and back door were pretty solidly green.  They're not green NOW!

After that was done and the hoses put away, I sorted out some strawberry plants.

When the strawberry bed was thinned out, there were loads of perfectly good strawberry plants left.  I replanted the most promising plants. 
 

I put a notice on the village hall Facebook page offering strawberry plants to anybody that wants them.  A handful of people wanted free, organic strawberry plants.

We only live a short distance from the hall so I can leave them there. I labelled them up and took them down.  I sent everybody a message so they knew the plants could be collected. We never need to meet and compromise anybody's isolation.

Doing things for others helps me to feel a bit better.

Having tackled a pretty large job, I have to think about which large jobs I want to tackle next.   The tool shed?  The attic?