Monday, January 22, 2007

The Last to Go

I've recently discovered that one of my old boyfriends is getting married. I believe that he is the last of them to head down the aisle.

As old flames go, he is pretty good. We sort of kept in touch over the years, but our lives have drifted so far in different directions, especially when I moved to another country. When I last spoke to the man, I discovered that not only had the book he was working on all those years ago been published, it was followed by four or five more! Crikey! I sent him some money so that he would mail me a signed copy of his first book, which he dutifully did. I'm very happy to have it. I'd love to have all of them, but the cost of shipping is prohibitive.

During our conversations last year, it was so odd to discover that we still had so much in common. We both live out in the country, we're both divers, we still love camping and birdwatching and we both have dogs from a rescue organization. Another strange coincidence was that my sister Sally's husband had dated his sister years ago! It was odd then that it never worked out for us romantically because as I said at the time, "It looked so good on paper". I put it down to bad timing. When we were an item, I had just finished a terrible and violent marriage and had two very small boys. In addition, I am not the person then that I am now. It would have always been a struggle. I had my own ideas about what a relationship should be like and was trying to find my feet. Bossy and selfish, I wouldn't have made him a good partner.

He always wrote the best letters even after we were no longer together. The thing was, you had to write back. As I am just about the worst correspondent ever, my letters from him dried up pretty sharpish. Years go by and then you realize that it's been (gasp) twenty years!

He required a level of devotion that I wasn't able to maintain. In the end, he broke up with me and I was heartbroken. I'm so glad he's found somebody now and she's found him. He really deserves to have somebody to be nuts about him. He's a great guy.

Congratulations Curt, my what-might-have-been, one-that-got-away old flame. I hope that you and Carolyn are as happy in marriage as Henry and I are.


Jay said...

Soemtimes things just don't work out even though there doesn't seem to be any real or obvious reason for that. But, at least it wasn't a bad memory or lots of bitterness when it was over.

susan said...

It's amazing how time flies by. Can you even imagine how different your life would have been if it had worked out? LOL

I guess things always work out the way they are supposed to.

Betty said...

All but one of my old flames are dead, and have been for several years. It's strange to realize I would have been a widow by now, no matter who I had married.

Joe said...

Shows what a clueless male I was/am. I don't think I ever "knew" you guys were an item, rather than just buddies. Vickie of course knew better, I know learn...

Ex-Shammickite said...

As the old song goes:
"Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be...."
I think we all have wondered at some time in our existence what would have happened if we had taken another course through life.

Kell said...

That's a great post. It's always so interesting to see how much you still have in common with someone who it just didn't work out with.

Peggy said...

Jay - There are really only fond memories.

Susan - I can't believe it is so far from 1986!

Betty - Some are married, some are gay (!) and it is only my ex-husband so far that is pushing up daisies.

Joe - You didn't know?!?? Bless your heart! What did you think was going on when Curt and I shared a tent? Card games? I'm so thankful that you've got Vickie.

ex-shammickite - Yup. What might have been . . . fodder for contemplation. I firmly believe that if we had married, it wouldn't have lasted. I was NOT marriage material.

Kell - We still do have loads in common. I hope that he and I will always be pals as we were good friends from pretty early on.

Joe said...

Peggy, what can I say? When I shared a tent with Curt, he was a perfect gentleman.

Well, other than the snoring and belching.

Alan G said...

Nice post Peggy. Its nice to see all has worked out for the both of you.

Got me to thinking if there is a woman or two out there who, although I am not dead, wishes I were?

Naw.....surely not! LOL

Joy Des Jardins said...

I really like this post Peggy. Timing is everything sometimes...even with as much as you and Curt had in common. But isn't it nice that you're still good friends? There are reasons for everything, and I think you found a most wonderful life with Henry.

Henry said...

Funny old thoughts eh?!

If the weather in West Africa between June and October had been better (instead of the regular stifling heat and heavy rain) I would have gone there in Summer 1991 instead of the US.

If I hadn't met two girls from Bristol UK on a train between San Francisco and Los Angeles who persuaded me to go to the Grand Canyon, I would have stuck with my original plan of visting Seattle instead of altering my plans to visit Arizona.

If I hadn't spoken to a little 7 year old kid on a shuttle bus on the South Rim at the Grand Canyon, I never would have been invited round to a tent to eat dinner with the folks who were staying there.

If I'd followed my lustful instincts when I was trekking through the canyon with a woman from St Louis, I never would have found myself co-driving the 1535 miles from the Canyon to Iowa City in a rusty old Subaru.

If I'd followed the impulse to turn right round and head back to my own 1 man tent after walking into the Emotional World War III that was going on between the previously mentioned woman from St Louis and the woman from Iowa City ...

... then, dear reader, Peggy's blog would read very very differently to the way that it does.

As my grandmother used to say.... "If 'ifs' and 'buts' were pots and pans, there'd be no need for tinkers"

How right you were nana. How right you were....

Tink said...

I'm curious... What are the titles of his books?

Tink said...

Ugh. That wasn't supposed to send yet. Teach me for typing in the WV before I write a comment lol.

Life is so odd. There are so many 'why' questions and so few answers to them. I'm glad it worked out for both of you in the end.

Betty: That's so morbid. Were any of them rich? You could have been pretty wealthy by now too. ;)